Guideless
by Delena life
Summary: Elena Gilberts starts going on bad ways after losing everyone she loves. Will Damon be able to help her? A Delena story.
1. Chapter 1

**Warn: some language and addictions.**

**Review please, if you want to keep it up.**

**Xx**

* * *

I woke up early. Too early.

I took a bath and put lots of eyeliner and mascara. I put on some random clothes and I didn't even bother enough to comb my brown hair.

I got out without eating, because my foster parents do not care if I eat or not.

My parents died in a car accident. I was with them and watched them drown. People say I was the only lucky surviver, but I probably feel deader than them.

I arrived school and got into school. Some boys wouldn't let me pass, admiring my body and the clothes I was wearing didn't help very much.

" Let the girl be." Some tall, with very blue eyes and wild dark hair told them. They all seemed immidiatly scared and ran away. Cowards.

" Are you okay?" I smiled and rolled my eyes.

" Thanks." Then I turned my back to him and left. I felt him run to me, putting his hand on my shoulder.

" What do you want?" I asked, with a misterious smile.

" I... hum... I wanted to say hey."

" Hey, bye." I mocked, and rolled my brown eyes again. "If you don't have cigarettes, leave."

" I have, so come on." He said, possibly thinking I was just one more drugged that would sleep with him. Nope, not me. But I pursued him, anyways.

He grabbed two cigarettes and gave one to me. I lightened it and we both smoked, without a word to each other.

He consummated four and stopped. He put out a bottle of vodka.

" Drunk in first day of school?" I asked, lifting my eyebrows.

" Yeah, if not how will I survive the day." He rolled his eyes, with sarcasm filling his voice. " And plus, I don't like this school, I'm here just being." He swallowed from the bottle and I took it from him.

" What the fuck are you doing?" he asked frowning.

I gulped from the bottle and saw his face turning into a naughty boyish smirk.

When we noticed the bottle was gone and we were _so almost _drunk when the lunch-ring sounded in all the building and precincts.

" Let's drunkly tell secrets to each others. " He propoused.

" You first"

" I think you are really beautiful, even without combing your hair." I smiled on the inside, but I just rolled my beautiful eyes. " Your turn, don't try to dodge me." I giggled.

" I'm orfan."

He looked at me wildly. " You what?"

" What's the big deal? It's cool not having anyone wondering where I am." I said, with aloof. Then I got up. " Bye. Ps. I robbed you money from your bag." And I was running away.

I didn't go home, I walked down the streets. I kindled one more cigarette and sat down against a wall, looked at the sky in despair, putting my arms around my legs, curled up into a ball. I didn't want to go home. My foster parents would be bad to me again and again and abuse again and again. And then I finally fell asleep. But it was not a peaceful sleep, it was a helpless sleep.

* * *

I woke up from the rain starting to fall. I got up, sore of the rugged cold floor.

I walked to school, lightening another cigarette, with dark circles under my eyes.

Lots of people looked at me, because I truly looked horrible.

" Hey, you!" It was the same boy of the previous day. " Wow, you look terrible."**  
**

" Go away." I demanded, in a bitter tone.

" So, yesterday you told me all your secrets and now it is 'go away' " He said.

" Get over yourself. You don't know anything about me. Nothing. So bye..."

" Damon." He said, with a smirk. He reached for my hand to shake it, but I abruptly pulled it away. " And you?"

" My name is 'None of your business' . Pleasure." I said, ironically. He laughed and that surprised me, because I was not trying to be funny.

" Pleasure."

" I didn't sleep in my supposed 'home' that's why I look so ugly." I explained.

" There is no way you could look ugly." He smoked another cigarette.

" You are so addicted to smoking" I said, with a small grin. He laughed. " Look who talks." I smiled again at his remark.

" I started when my parents died. "

" Yeah..."

" Won't you say 'I'm sorry' like all they?"

" I don't think that will change the way you feel. I'm the bad boy in school, I don't say soap opera when you do not need it." he smirked.

Vicki and her group were quickly in front of me. She smirked and I smirked back.

" Do you have it? " I asked, with a grin.

" Yes. But I want the money." I rolled my eyes. I am _always _honest. We all knew what I was talking about: _drugs._

" They were hard to find. My dealer moved to San Francisco, so... 200 bucks." I gave her the money and she, of course, was dumb at the point of not counting it.

Damon looked at me uncomfortable.

" What are _you _doing?" I smiled wildly.

" Come on, it is _good _and you know it. But I won't share, sorry." He shruggled.

" I don't want it, Elena." He sighed. I looked at him in surprise with a _Wow_ face.

" Whatever. " I chuckled. " I gotta go." I got away from him and sat down behind the building where I used to go with Jeremy and my best friend, Bonnie. They were both dead. I sighed at the memorie. I _really _needed to be on drugs and forget all the shit that happened since I was born.

I quickly put it on my body and a feeling of freedom and no-worries got over me, like a wave in the sea.

It was my only hint happiness and made me forget about how _useless _my fucking life was. I was high till late in the night and then I did not want go _home. _My life was _bad _enough and my foster parents hated me so much and I didn't even know why. I had tried. I had tried to be a perfect daughter. To have a point in life. But nobody noticed the strenght with I tried. And now... now I am _tired. _Tired of being useless, not-perfect-enough, never _enough._

And... Damon, he made me feel good. I won't see him _ever _again, but fuck it. Fuck everything. Fuck my life. _Fuck it_.

And I don't feel lonely. I don't feel empty. I just don't feel anything. And I would kill to feel pain, and I hope this numb feeling will go away fast, because I do not think I can handle to be a waste of space the rest of my life.

I didn't want to fall asleep. Neither I wanted to stay awake.

I wanted to be as fe_popular_ tching as the other girls.

I wanted to be as as them.

But mostly, I wanted to be as happy as them. However they are just mooncalfs and silly girls who cry over damn lads. And that's okay.

* * *

I woke up slowly and painfully. Great, my coke was over. My happiness was fucking over. And I didn't know how to survive this. I didn't think I could. I needed to get up, but I was scared of doing it.

Someone aproached me.

" _Elena Gilbert. " _Someone said in a bitter tone. Holly crap: Kol Mikaelson. My ex.

" What the heck do you want?" I asked, rudeness covering my voice.

" Oh, yesterday you didn't say that." Oh, no, what did I do yesterday? I couldn't remember- and that was so not good.

" What are you talking about?" He rolled his eyes.

" Do not pretend."

" I do not remember a thing." I admited, looking down with embarassment.

" Oh, so ... were you drunk?" He asked. I shook my head slowly, even though I didn't know the answer to that question.

" Oh my god! You were druged. You are not just a SLUT but a junkie girl. " He laughed. I smiled ironically and showed him my middle finger, getting up.

" Fuck you."

" Oh, yesterday you did that for me." I kicked his legs and mumbled a "get away from me".

And I needed to get high again.


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter is gonna be longer. *sorry for any gramar mistakes* **

**Review please, if you want to keep it up.**

**Xx**

* * *

I got to school emotionless.

It was always the same.

All people looked at me, because I looked homeless (which, in _my _case, was true) and drugged (which in my case, was also true.) I showed them my middle finger and mumbled a "fuck off" and kept walking through the hall. I saw Damon from the corner of my eye, but he didn't seem to sight me. I suspired.

I didn't want to go to class. So I laid in the turf and looked at the sky. And it felt good. I felt someone sitting next to me and I closed my eyes.

"This is good." I commented, with a small smile, not bothering to look at Damon's face.

" Shouldn't you be in class?"

" I'm gonna fail, so fucking whatever." I shruggled. He looked at me with a smirk.

" You don't care about a thing, do you?"

" I have nothing to care about." I told him and got up. " And why to care with shits that will make me actually _think _about life?"

" You can stay in my house if you want to" He said, and my eyes narrowed.

" I do not need your pity, neither I want to have _it. _So fuck you, _Damon." _I didn't know why I was being like _this. _It was fuckin pathetic. His eyes darkened and his lips pressed into a straight line. " Damon, I'm..."

" Save it. I do not have the patience to deal with stupid girls who think they are the only ones with problems, _Elena._"

" You know nothing about me." I hissed.

" Fuck you." He muttered and I showed him my middle finger and got away quickly.

" Hey." It was Klaus Mikaelson? Saying "hey" to _me__? _Wow.

" What do _you _want?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

" Don't be snappy, _Elena. _I just need drugs. Do you have some, evenctually?" He asked, twinkling his eyelashes like a lost puppy.

" It depends. Do _you _have money?" Oh, god I was turning into a dealer, although I didn't plumb want to. I just needed the money to more drugs, since I had them for free.

" How much?"

" This shit isn't cheap, _Klaus._" I hissed.

" I know- I have the money, Gilbert." He chuckled and I wondered where could he manage to get _that much _of cash.

I finally made a deal with him and gave him the drugs.

" Do not tell I was the one who gave it to you, understood?" He shook my hand and went back to the class.  
I sat on the bathroom's floor. What the fuck was I getting myself into?

* * *

I heard the ring of the bell and I was so high, I barely could get up from the filthy pavement of the old school's toilet.

" Mrs Gilbert?" The school director aproached me and I laughed. He was so fat. How many times did he do exercise? Once?_In a year? _I couldn't think straight and my eyes were a bloody red colour.

" Are you on drugs?" He asked, shocked.

" A tiny bit." I grinned, giggling. He grabed my arm forcefully. " Oh, come on, it's not _that _bad..."

" I'm gonna expell you if you don't shut the hell up." He said 'hell' so I heehaw on his fucking face.

" Fuck you." I spatted, angrily.

" You are officialy expelled. Leave this fucking building. Now." His voice was threatning and I obey, grudgingly.

I got 'home'. My foster father opened the door, crossly.

" Where the fuck have you been, you fuckin' moron?"

" Out." I answered trying to move. He grabbed my harm.

" You are expelled of this house. If you ever come here again, I will fuckin' kill you and if you complain to the social worker, better, you are going out of this town. But before you go..." He started ripping of my clothes and I kicked him and screamed, in panick. He was going to rape me.

" Fuck off." I pushed him with all my streght and ran with all my legs could, not bothering to look back or grab my stuff, because I do not have a thing. And I looked at the grey sky and lightned a cigarette. Now it was all fucked up, I was by myself and not even time was with me, because the night seemed to never pass. And I cryed, I admit I did, because I couldn't do this all alone.

I ran to _his _house. It was raining. His father opened the door and frowned when looking at me.

" Another random girl, DAMON!" He screamed and I frightened, realizing the mistake I had made.

" Hum, sorry, it was the wrong house." I gagged with a forced smile.

" Elena." Damon said. " Let the girl in, please."_  
_

" Whatever." His dad was quickly away. I surprised myself with speeding to him and hugging him so tight I didn't think neither of us could even breath, but it didn't even matter. And I got weak and I felt my sobs making my body shake and him whispering in my ear that it was just fine and that I would be just fine and that he was there. And I didn't believe it for a nanosencond although he didn't seem to notice.

" I'm tired." I muttered. He grabbed me on his arms and got me to the visits bed. And that was a weird attitude, because I knew usually boys don't miss a shot to have sex with me, and I'm useless like all my foster families say.

" Goodnight, Elena." He told me, with a mellifluous little smirk that made me melt on the inside.

" Goodnight, Damon." I wanted to had a 'thanks' but it didn't come out from my mouth so I just looked into the darkness, hoping to fall asleep apace and then it would be over.

* * *

I woke up in a stranger's bed and suddently all the memories hit me like a train in movement.

Me being drugged.

Me being almost raped.

Me being kicked out of home.

Me going to Damon's.

Me being weak.

Me being _me._

I sighed, and shook my head because my actions were careless and without a future. I couldn't imagine myself after highschool. I couldn't imagine myself happy.

And they all say happiness is the most important thing we all feel but that's a fuckin' illusion, because I've never been happy and I don't know I'm alive because of the fucking pain stopped. But here I am. Lifeless.

I dressed myself in hotfoot and grabbed the makeup I always carry with me in my eyes. I looked a mess, and I'm sure the _Walking Dead _cast wouldn't mind to have my presence as that meat psycho eaters they fucking call of zombies.

I was ready to leave and try to never face Damon again when...

" Hey, Elena." His messy hair appeared to my sight and I nodded, not saying nothing, but knowing he would understand.

" You do not need to be embarassed, you know?" I looked down and my heat reached my cheeks, and probably I was red like a tomato.

" Yes, I-" He got to me and grabbed my hand.

" No you don't, you may be homeless." I asked myself if I was that readable. " No, you aren't that readable, Elena." He was fucking reading my mind. I grabbed a cigarette and started smoking, not bothering to look at him.

" Goodbye, Damon."

And I was gone.


End file.
